Jan 4, 2010

Road to be a better person

2010 has come for 4 days now, but since this is the start of the working day for 2010, it seems as if everyone starts their greets with "Selamat Tahun Baru" or "Happy New Year". I was feeling disgruntled just now when a collegue greet me thus, an automated reply just slips out of my-lidah-tak-bertulang "whats so happy about it?". To me its just that I have to remember the change of the last number of the date when I write a letter- it wont change for the next 365 days(haha! I usually only get the hang of writing the correct year by Feb-Mac).
Sigh, I'm having a bad January this year, my fuse are getting shorter and sensitive. Well, actually I didnt mean to snap at people but it just *shrug* - should I feel guilty? Its not as if they had not snapped at me before when they're having a bad day...but I just swept it under the rug and not childishly giving them a silent treatment... ahhh, bleh blah lah - no skin off my back.
The work and the collegues make me wanna pull my hair, bang my head against the desk, yell on top of my lungs, wail like a crazy lunatics, laugh like a banshee... The attitude of some people who constantly bemoaning their so-called-non-existence-workload just make me wanna yell at them shut-the-hell-up!!!!!! I would love to switch workload with you! Thank god, my bad mood recede after a few hours at home, where any thoughts of work is forbidden from entering my brain zone - thank you korean drama! my escapism from the suckness of reality. Its 5.30pm and the office is nearly empty, I called up the officer who preached that we need to put extra hour and extra efforts for this month, but it was unaswered - *snickered* u went home already? where's your "extra-ness"? You must be wondering, if I'm busy what the heck I'm wasting time writing this? Well, I want to vent out my bitterness thats what! I feel my heart has turned to black this couple of months, the smiles and calmness are all fake... Life IS an act
But really, whats with the upbeat about new year anyway? What's so speacial of Jan 1st? Begining of new hope? What about the unfulfilled hope of last years? Forgotten? My hope has no beginning and no ending... they say to change the world, you must be willing to change yourself... hellooooo! thats the hardest part!
This January whats in my head are February please come soon!!!, my plans to go to UK and/or South Korea in 2010-2011, thinking to buy a laptop so that I can watch korean drama streaming without peeking if my brother's is using his laptop and lists of korean dramas to watch! Gosh, the reviews from dramabeans blog just keep making those lists longer and longer. How do I find the time??????!!!!! Oh yeah, the how-long-has-I-been-proscratinating plan to spring clean my room! Need to do it soon!, there's so much stuff littering on the floor that I cannot bear to see someone goes in lest they step on something important! - like a cockroach hahaha!
But top priority- NOT TO MISS MY 5 DAILY MEETINGS!!!!! ON-TIME!!!! NO EXCUSES!!!
AIM - Ke arah Kesempurnaan Insan

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